Faith

Faith is a mathematical power...It subtracts weakness, adds power, divides difficulties and multiplies possibility!

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I wish I weren't here under these circumstances.

I wish I were here visiting my family just because...but I'm not...so I'll take what I can get.

Reality Check

In my previous post, I said that it doesn't seem like my father has passed. I know he has but I just didn't feel it.

I had a reality check today. As I walked into the funeral home, I saw my dad's name and picture scrolling on the marquee...

Still doesn't feel real to me.

Walked into the room where he was...

A little more real, but not quite.

Walked up to the casket in which he lay...

VERY REAL!

I was overcome with emotion as I looked at my father laying in the casket.

He looked great. I know it sounds weird that I'm saying my deceased father looked great but he did. While he didn't look like I remember him, he still looked great. He had a slight smile on his face as if to say, "finally,I am at peace"

...and I'm at peace because he's at peace.

Not Sure How I Feel

It's been a while since I've posted..and a  lot has happened since my last post on January 23rd. I know I gotta quit taking these long breaks...and just share with you what's happening in my world.

In an earlier post I shared with you that my father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I also shared with you that he was on a very aggressive treatment plan; chemo and radiation combined 3 days a week.

That stupid treatment plan didn't work. It didn't kill the cancer. It didn't make him feel better. He died. He died on Thursday, April 21st @ 12:06 p.m.

Here's the response I get when I share the news. "Awww, sorry for your loss. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you. How you holding up?" I automatically respond. "Thanks, I'm good." When in fact the truth is...I'm not sure how I feel. I've got a wide of range of emotions going on. First, let tell you that it doesn't seem real. I know it is but it just doesn't feel like it. No, I'm not in denial. While I was expecting my father to pass away at some point, why'd it have to be now?  I guess I was hoping that he'd beat this cancer thing and show it who's boss. It does happen you know.

I'm not sure how I feel. I'm all over the freakin' place. I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm angry yet I also feel bouts of happiness and peace. Weird. In the words of Mr. Brown, "what da what?"

I'm thinking and trying to process my feelings...

I still don't know how I feel about it all... 

Weird Encounters

Ok, so I'm not sure if I'm wearing a sign that says "Hey, I'm open to having weird encounters." I just don't know. Whatever the case...today was definitely a day of weird encounters.


Weird Encounter #1-I leave the house this morning at 8:30 so that I can make the 20 minute drive to church, battle the traffic in the parking lot, and get a good seat for 9:30 service. As I'm driving up Lowery Blvd. I get stopped at the light. To my left, I see this lady on the corner flagging me down. I was a bit hesitant to roll down my window to see what she wanted. She was dressed decently and didn't appear to be in any need so I hesitated. She continued flagging me down. Soooo...I roll down my window and ask "How can I help you?" She says, "Can you give me and my son a ride to church? I don't want to be late for Sunday school." My first thought was "Heck no. I don't know if you and your son are planning to rob me and are using church as an excuse to get in my car." Then she asked again, this time she said, "Please, I really don't want to be late for Sunday school. The church van was supposed to pick me up 30 minutes ago and it didn't show. I've been standing out here all this time waiting. He coulda called me and told me he wasn't coming." So I say, without thinking, "Sure, I can take you." As these two strangers approached my car I thought to myself, "What the hell? Kim are you crazy? You don't know these people!" The lady and her son hop in and I begin driving down the road. She starts giving me directions to her church (which was only three blocks away) and then turns to me and says, "You look like a nice lady who was on her way to church so I thought I'd ask you to drop me off." I don't respond. I just chuckle a little. As we near the church, I'm still thinking to myself, "What the hell? You just gave two strangers a ride!" We get to the church and she and her son hop out. She looks back and says,"The Lord sho gone bless you for this." I nodded and pulled off. Who just flags down strangers to ask for a ride? Better yet, who just picks up strangers and give them a ride? Apparently, me!


Weird Encounter #2- Now, I'm in service. As I'm holding my neighbors' hands, praying with my head bowed and my eyes closed, I feel a hand on my shoulder. At first, I think nothing of it. Maybe the hand on my shoulder doesn't have a hand to hold for prayer. Then, something weird happened...the hand on my shoulder starts massaging it. I don't look up, I just shrug my shoulder as if to say "STOP RUBBING MY DAMN SHOULDER, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M PRAYING!" The hand then transitions from my right shoulder to my left and starts massaging it! At this point I'm pissed. I can't believe I'm being fondled in church. This is crazy! I look back and the hand belongs to a young man, about 16-17 years old. I frown at him and take my seat.


Weird Enocunter #3- I'm still in service. Prayer is over. And now its time to greet the visitors. I turn and greet the lady to my left and the lady to my right. Then as I'm taking my seat, the young man who just massaged ny damn shoulders reaches out to give me a hug. (I'm trying to be a better Christian and not be rude) so... I go to hug him and you wouldn't believe what weird thing happened next...THIS DUDE TONGUE KISSES MY CHEEK! I pulled away and was like "WHAT THE *#%!?" I almost forgot I was in church. I had to stop myself from cursing. Not only was the side of my face wet, but it was stanking. Dude's breathe was so bad, he left my cheek on bump! I was sitting in the middle of row two so had I jumped up and ran to the bathroom to wash my face, I would have had to cut through everyone on the row. TALK ABOUT PISSED! (Ya'll know I keep baby wipes on me so I just used one to clean the side of my face). I was irritated. I tried my best not to let it ruin my worship experience. I couldn't stop thinking about how I had been damn near molested at church! I made a complaint with the church office. Apparently, this isn't the first time this young man has had inappropriate contact with a woman in the church!


Weird Encounter 4# - Service is over. I go home. I change my clothes. I head to Wal-Mart to get all the fixins' for tacos. I get my fixins and I head over to the electronic section to check the price of a case for my new external hard-drive. I see this guy follwing me with his eyes. I'm a little weirded out but I keep shopping. I check the price and head back over to the food section. I remember that I need to get more Banana Nut Cheerios (my cholesterol is through the roof!). I get my Cheerios and as I turn my cart around, dude is stranding right there. I was startled by his presence. Didn't I just see him over in electronics? He's staring at me like he's looking at an angel. Then he says, "What are you getting into tonight?" I lie and say, "I'm headed home to cook dinner for my boyfriend." (I DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND, I AM STILL VERY SINGLE). He says, "Oh, what are you cooking?" I say, "tacos." This fool then says, "Ya'll  gone save me a plate?" I died laughing and was like, "NO!" and pushed my buggy past his crazy a#%. 


I was too outdone. I had had enough strange encounters for the day. I check out, get in my car, speed home. Once in the house, I locked my door and closed  my blinds. I didn't want anymore craziness finding me. 


What a day...

Pop-Ups

Pop-ups are a form of online advertising on the World Wide Web intended to attract web traffic or capture email addresses. With pop-ups, when you click on a website a new window opens to display advertising.

Talk about ANNOYING!

Pop-ups can interfere with your ability to see the content on the web page you are trying to read. If you're not careful, you may accidentally click on a pop-up that can slow down your computer or worst; damage it! The goal is to block pop-ups before they can interrupt your web browsing. To do this, you need to install a pop-up blocker on your computer.

HANG IN THERE, I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS...

I'd like to suggest that computers aren't the only thing that need a pop-up blocker. I believe we humans need a pop-up blocker on our minds. Just as pop-ups can slow down or damage your computer, negative and wrong thoughts that pop into your mind can also slow you down and do great damage to your life. Just as Google toolbar serves as a pop-up blocker for your computer, the Word of God is the pop-up blocker for the Believer.

Blocking wrong thoughts and guarding your mind takes discipline and diligence. The objective of the enemy is to get you to receive the negative thought, speak it and act on it. Once you "click" (act) on something he suggested, you activate a negative cycle in your life.

Second Corinthians 10:5 says,"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exhalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." With the Word of God in your mouth and in your heart you can defeat the enemy's suggestions (pop-ups) every time.

My friend, you don't have to be ruled by pop-ups (wrong thoughts). Block/guard your mind from them by being mindful of what you look at, listen to and talk about with others. You have authority over every area of your life, including your mind. God gave that authority to you! Beat down negative thoughts with God's Word!

Ephesians 4:21-24 declares, "Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God- truly righteous and holy."

The Word further declares in Romans 12:2, "Be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God". (KJV)

I urge you to do your best effort to keep yourself in the right frame of mind. Stay in the Word and keep out ALL wrong influences and you will be victorious over negative thoughts.

~KLJ

My Fridge after the Storm

As you know, I've been cooped up in the house since Sunday due to some nasty winter weather.


Going into the storm, my fridge was packed. Now....well see for yourself. This is all I have left...I can't even scrounge a meal together!


I'm done blogging, I'm braving the ice to get more food!

Total Silence

Today was snow day number four....uugghhh!

Anywho, I started my day a little differently than I have the past three snow days. Instead of getting up, turning on the television, and busying myself with meaningless tasks, I got up and turned on some gospel music. While I scrambled my last two eggs, fried my last few pieces of bacon, and stirred my last pot of grits (my fridge is officially empty), I jammed to John P. Kee (my favorite song is "I Do Worship"). I was jamming so hard I almost burned my eggs! (Don't tell me I can't sing!)

My spirit was overjoyed as I ate my breakfast. Once finished, I had a shower, turned off my music and then...

sat in TOTAL SILENCE!

I rarely sit in silence. I am always doing something; listening to the radio, watching tv, texting or emailing; doing something! What I discovered today is that sitting in SILENCE is awesome! I prayed, read scripture, prayed again, read more scripture, prayed some more and read even more scripture. Because I didn't have the distraction of the radio, tv or my cell phone I was able to LISTEN and HEAR what GOD was saying to me.

Hear's what He said...

"Kimberly, you spend too much time worrying about things that really don't matter. STOP IT! Please, do not worry yourself with the things of this world. Babygirl, if you just delight yourself in ME, I will give you the desires of your heart. Remember that I came that you may have life and have it more abundantly. I AM your Jehovah Jireh (God who provides). In ME, you have everything you need."

He also said to me, "Be not afraid of the wicked who come against you to eat of your flesh. They will stumble and fall. There will be an army to encamp against you but fear not. I AM your protection. I will hide you in MY pavilion; in the secret place of MY tabernacle. Kimberly, I will set you high upon a rock. Wait on ME; be of good courage. I will strengthen your heart!" (He said some other things to me that I am not authorized to share-sorry, its just between He and I)

Um...I'm usually not at a loss for words. Y'all who know me know that I always have a bunch to say. (I'm not ashamed to say that I can talk!) However, God left me speechless. All I could do was nod in agreement. 

Friends, if you haven't tried sitting in silence before, I urge you to try it today. You never know what God is trying to tell you; you just need to silence the noise so you can hear Him clearly!

A Serious Case of Cabin Fever

Ok...we've had not one; not two; but THREE snow days! We may very well have a fourth.

Are you kidding me?!?

The state of Georgia is re-cooping from what they call the worst winter storm they've seen in years. It's not the snow that's a huge problem (there was only about 3 inches that fell). It's the ice that's causing everything to shut down. The roads look like ice arenas. It's ridiculous. Every school, business, government office, and major freeway is closed. Heck, even the jails are closed! I saw on the news that they weren't allowing any visitors.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am a HUGE fan of snow days. One, maybe two days and I'm good. But 4 days? I can't take it. I've been on lockdown since Sunday and I'm starting to get antsy.

Let's see, since being snowed in I've...

• read a few chapters from each of my favorite books
• managed to eat every snack in my pantry
• cleaned my bathroom from ceiling to floor
• washed every piece of clothing I could find
• spent more than the law allows on iTunes
• gave myself a mani/pedi
• stalked my email account(s) (no new messages)
• watched my favorite talk shows/soaps
• slept
• prayed
• laughed as I watched my neighbors fall trying to brave the ice :-)

While this list of activities isn't the most exciting, it's all I could think to do while I patiently wait for this madness to be over!

The Value of Waiting Rooms

Waiting rooms…yes, waiting rooms. Waiting rooms are where you’re held until the person you’ve requested a service from is ready to render that service to you. They are everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE…the doctor’s office, the dentist office, the pharmacy, the barber shop, the hair salon, the car repair shop. The list could go on but I’ll stop here. If you’re like me, you think the waiting room is the most annoying place to be. I don’t want to wait. I want to be serviced NOW!

A recent trip to the eye doctor changed my view of waiting rooms. You see, I suffer from allergies and during allergy season my eyes get so irritated and swollen that it’s sometimes difficult for me to see. As would any normal person, I made an appointment to see the doctor. I needed some eyes drops to help soothe my symptoms. I arrive at the appointment and excitedly sign-in. I know for sure, my eyes are so gross that the doctor is going to see me soon. As I smile at the optical technician in hopes she’d see how bad my eyes were and send me straight to the doctor, I hear her say those dreaded words, “Have a seat and someone will be with you in a moment.” “Darn it!” I thought. “I want to be seen NOW.” 3 minutes go by. 5 minutes go by. 10 minutes go by. Now, I’m impatiently tapping my foot because I want to be seen NOW. After about 13 minutes, I hear the technician say, “give me one more minute, I have a few more things to prep before I call you back.”

A light bulb came on in my head. “Aha”, I thought. “The waiting room isn’t so bad after all. I’m not just sitting here while the technician is twiddling her thumbs. She’s actually prepping the room for me.” And then the flood light came on. This time, the Holy Spirit was speaking to me. I heard Him say that there is great value in waiting rooms. I heard Him tell me to embrace my time in the waiting room. He told me that necessary preparations are taking place so that the doctor can render the service I requested. I asked the Holy Spirit, “Is this what you do when I’ve spent hours, days, even months in prayer and still haven’t received an answer. Do you send me to the waiting room?” The Holy Spirit answered back, “yes, Kim. This is exactly what I do.” He then began to explain that He doesn’t really want to send me to the waiting room but that He HAS to. It isn’t a case of Him not being ready to service me. He’s God, He doesn’t have to prepare...He's always ready and available. Rather, He has to prepare me because I’m not ready to receive His service. While I’m waiting in the waiting room, He’s preparing my heart, my mind, and my spirit to receive that which He has for me. 

I hear my name being called. “Thanks Holy Spirit”, I whisper as I walk back to see the doctor. I get it now. Waiting rooms aren’t so bad after all. I no longer see them as pointless and annoying. I now see them as a very necessary place to be...there's work to be done there!

I want to encourage you to begin to change your view of waiting rooms. If you’re currently in the waiting room of life, embrace it. I know how difficult it is to wait on an answer to your prayer. I know, I know...you want an answer NOW! Let me tell you that God sees you and He hears your requests. Chillax in the waiting room and allow Him to do the necessary prep work on your heart, mind and spirit so that HE can render His perfect service to you. My friend, I encourage you to embrace the waiting room so you can receive fully what He wants to give you.  

Scripture of the Day: “I waited for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, and out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God." Psalm 40:1-2 (NIV)